Well, I just got back from my marathon doctors appt.  Had the ultrasound....good news, Baby is doing great!  Moving and kicking and hiccuping....Bad news, the ultra sound tech couldn't tell the sex of the baby...! Dagnabit!  I feel so unsatisfied....I know I know...all I have gone through the last five years I should be happy I have a healthy baby....but, I just can't help it....Then I got irritated...they were running out of ultrasound gel so the probe was scraping over my belly....Then the girl tells me that their printer is broken and can she have my addy so she can mail me the ultrasound pics?  HUH?  What kinda office you runnin here? lol.....Anyway, so I went up and had my regular appt. with the doc after that and told her that they couldn't tell the sex of the baby, I asked my doc if maybe next visit they could do an impromtu ultrasound just to see if we could find out the sex....The doc tells me we are not supposed to but, just remind me next visit and we will see what we can do....ya, thankx....So, that's how my morning went...how bout yours?

I have been really confused lately, not sure if I'm really happy anymore...is that possible?  I try to feel happy but, when I'm alone I have to force myself to feel peaceful...does that make sense?  I think I seriously need a grounding.....

I went to my interview yesterday, it went well...I think she wanted to hire me on the spot she was so excited....then the bombshell....I am 5 months pregnant.....her face changed...."Well, we will be giving you a call in a few days, thanks for coming in"-------now go home and  hurry up and wait.....We will see what happens.....

Emma is getting on my last nerve, I miss Tia like crazy....she's at horse camp right now so I can't talk to her....Oh well, maybe tomorrow will be a better day.....

love ya, J